Sunday, June 23, 2013

Award For Best Commercials Of All-Time Goes To TotalBeverage.net

We here at RebelBros like to reward ourselves (on a daily basis) with a few drinks at the end of the night for making it through yet another vapid, soul-sucking, emotionally destroying spin around the earth.  Sometimes we also like to watch public access television at 2:30 in the morning and dream of whimsical parallel universes where they only show commercials for totalbeverage.net, because they are fucking insane.






Honestly I still don't know how to verbally express myself when it comes to the emotions that are stirred inside of me when I watch this.  Confusion, pure joy, anger at every other advertisement for not being this batshit crazy, then more confusion.  I seriously sat in shock in front of the television, looking with wide-eyed amazement at how deeply totalbeverage had fucked my brain.







You can't deny the craftsmanship of this ilk.  It's almost like a master woodworker building a canoe, or a castrated 12-year old boy singing soprano in a choir.  Everything just comes together and fits like the pieces of a puzzle.



So congratulations guys! I doubt I will ever shop at your store because it's in Thornton which is pretty far, but I totally would if it were like a couple blocks from my apartment.  I present to you this picture of the Heisman Trophy, which is probably the most thoughtful gift I have ever given anyone (sorry mom, those earrings are cubic zirconium).  Hopefully we can expect more psychosis from them in the near future. Cheers!  Not the show, which I like, just..........okay, I meant the show.




No comments:

Post a Comment